Peace...

Yesterday was a BAD day for me.  There is no other way to describe it.  I was a mess of tears and anger.  I kept asking God "Why after all that we have already been through would we have to endure another BUMP in the road."  None of this made sense to me.  God gave us one Miracle after another to provide for our adoption.  So why would we need to experience all this pain?  

Well, we did experience a supernatural presence of God in our lives, and after a mountain top experience a valley is sure to follow.  It is how we handle ourselves in the valley that counts.  Yesterday I did not handle myself very well.  I was angry and Mad at God.  I screamed out in pain and tears and asked "WHY".  I let myself throw a two year old's tantrum.  I threw things across the room and cried and screamed and carried on.  Then after my fit I cried and cried and cried until I had no more tears.  Then when I was at my lowest point I looked up to my Heavenly Father and asked Him to give me PEACE.  There is absolutely nothing I can do to change any of these circumstances so I begged God to help me come to terms with it and to give me PEACE.  

When I got up this morning I did feel better.  After I got the boys off to school I came back home and sat still in my quiet house.  I just sat here.  It was just me and God.  As I sat here I could feel that God WAS giving me PEACE.  I am not happy about having to wait longer but I do have a PEACE that passes all understanding.  I know God has a reason and we may never know what that reason is but I have PEACE.  God's timing is perfect and for what ever his reasons are I will Trust Him.